And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
