Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I will pee on everything he values.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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