I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
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We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
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You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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