So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
