don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You are the jesus of drinking
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
