No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
