I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
it's like heaven, but drunker
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
