Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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