I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm sobbing to NWA
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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