We're like a lot better than the average bears
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize