i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
