I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
