In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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