you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize