dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
