there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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