You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
