Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize