Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
