First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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