That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize