He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
