i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
