I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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