He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
did you just send me my own nude
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
