You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
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our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
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At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches