Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
no. you can't hotbox the world.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY