So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail