I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.