No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard