I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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