I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
