If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
