i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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