i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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