I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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