I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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