didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
