Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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