did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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