Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
