Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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