Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
