i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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