And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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