Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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