Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize