that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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