I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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