I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
