Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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