he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
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So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize