If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
