I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
