I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
