The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
