"it" just moved
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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