Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i think i just lost a toe
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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