Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
