i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize