pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Princesses don't give blow jobs
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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