hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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